My maiden name is Bowers

Brody went on a campout with his 11 year-old scout troop this last weekend.  His first scout campout.  He loved getting out and adventuring as any boy his age would.  He was assigned to design and bring the troop flag, and he also helped to create a chant for the troop.  He was super delighted to come home and tell me that he won first place on his flag and second place on his chant.  This was a campout with many other troops so the competition was there to be had.  He was super delighted to have such success and acceptance.

Caleb last week realized the wonderfulness of 7-eleven slurpies.  We only live about a tenth of a mile away from a 7-eleven, and alas he has been very happy to go back twice to purchase some.  He was very generous and shared his new found addiction to his little brother and sister while Brody was gone on his campout.  

Doug announced his first event for OU last Friday.  He sounded great.  It was a girls soccer game and the kids and I sat just outside the fence to listen to him.  I believe that he really could get places with that great voice of his. 

For me the last week has involved me becoming a bit of a loose cannon.  You never know when I am going to let someone have it.  I have not been to excited about it, because along with a great story to tell, there comes some serious regret, retrospect, then repentance.  After communicating with my most adored sister in law Megan, I realized why I am flying off the handle and loosing my self control.  I have been so anxious.  Anxious about Doug.  His knee surgery has healed, but it also has caused some other issues that have bothered me.  I have been very worried and very unsure about what I should do.  I love that man of mine and I don't want to hover over him, but I am very much a mother and wife, so I feel like I need to hover just a bit.  What do I do to help him?  What should I feed him?  Do I make him get up and walk it off?   Do I call someone? I have been very unsure about so many aspects that I am feeling very out of control of everything.  Thus I need to apologize to the Lady at Sonic who honked her horn at me very rudely, I am so sorry for the confrontation that you had with me as I tapped on your drivers window asking in a not-so-sweet manner "What DID I DO?!"  Also I need to apologize to the bank teller who was just following protocol, I am sorry that you had to hear exactly my thoughts on the matter.     Luckily I kept it together when I went to Doug's follow up doctor appointment this week.  Instead of telling him all my thoughts, I just decided to keep my mouth shut....completely shut.  (He probably thought I had super glued my lips together.)  I did not make a peep at all.  I probably wasn't too warm and cozy, but at least I didn't explode.  

I don't know when this will get better, but it will.  I did get to see a bit of sunshine today...I just hope for more in the future.  I pray that with whatever comes my way I can practice taking it all very gracefully. I just need to remember my maiden name is Bowers.  

 written by Camille